#why yes I do have thoughts that aren't about gale of waterdeep

[stormwife-writes]

choosing between Lucanis and Emmrich in DATV: would you like to compete with the skeleton in his closet, or an actual skeleton?

[thessalian]

Faerun!Alisaie vs Gathering a Team

Shadowheart lies unconscious on a path, wreckage everywhere...

Alisaie: *sitting on a barrel; playing and singing to the tune of The Wellerman* There once was a bard from Baldur's Gate / A nautiloid ship near sealed her fate / The ship broke up / We all fell down / Onto the beach below... / Here does an Alisaie sit / WIth nice sharp rapier and sharper wit / Shadowheart, wake up a bit / So we can damn well go...

Shadowheart: *groans* What--?

Alisaie: Oh good; I really did not want to have to shake you. Didn't want to be too close when you woke up in case you were a bit shaky and thought I was something to smack. While you collect yourself ... I'm figuring from the messed-up corpses of locals that there's a settlement somewhere. Any clue where we are?

Shadowheart: Not a one. We need to find supplies and a cure. Probably in approximately that order. I ... assume your sitting around here means you're amenable to teaming up?

Alisaie: I pried you out of a mind flayer pod; I'm not abandoning you now. Any clue where Lae'zel ended up?

Shadowheart: To the hells with her.

Alisaie: Given all the imps and devils and shit we were fighting, at least she'd be going someplace familiar, I guess. Still, c'mon. Team Dangerous Company.

Shadowheart: *siiiiiiigh* If we run into her, I suppose. For now, supplies. That settlement you were talking about. And hopefully, a cure.

Alisaie: Yeah, okay, but quick thing - do you still have that crossbow I threw at you on the ship?

Shadowheart: *pats herself down* Seems so. Why?

Alisaie: Because there are a few intellect devourers kind of in the way of further exploration and I don't know how bad they're hurt but Us kind of wrecked shit up so I'd rather kill them from a distance for now.

Shadowheart: You're cunning. This team-up might be a better idea than I thought. Even if you still want to help the bloody gith.

Alisaie: Honestly, kind of don't want to, but githyanki spend all their time fighting illithids and they might actually know about a cure. So better to stay kind of on her good side.

Shadowheart: Do you think that's possible?

Alisaie: Provided I leave her in camp every time I want to do anything nice for anyone, ever? Yes.

Shadowheart: ...I hate that your logic actually works. Let's go shoot brains with feet.

After the summary murder of brains with feet, up a cliff with a badly-behaved waypoint rune

Alisaie; Shadowheart: Whaaaaaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuck...?

Gale: *sticking hand out of portal* Little help?

Alisaie: ...It's going to be one of those days, isn't it. *touches portal* Hush. Whatever mess he made of your spot in the Weave, he's very sorry and he won't do it again. Now unclench a little so we can stop him being a nuisance, okay?

Gale: ...That's ... a little hurtful but fair. And working. And yes, I am very sorry for the magical disruption I am causing. Now pull, please?

Alisaie: *yanks*

Alisaie; Gale: *both go flying*

Shadowheart: Is your life always like this?

Alisaie: I. Am. A. Bard.

Shadowheart: ...Fair.

Gale: *getting up* Right! Gale of Waterdeep, at your service! I saw you running around the nautiloid. We're in about the same boat as well as formerly the same ship, no?

Alisaie: Okay, I missed you entirely. Sorry about that. Big ship and we were kind of in a hurry. But yes. Want to join Team Dangerous Company? We're off hunting for the means of survival - short and long-term.

Shadowheart: You're just collecting us like fancy figurines, aren't you.

Alisaie: Like I told Lae'zel when I was going to rescue you - anyone remotely responsive and not necessarily trying to kill us. And this one seems personable. Also, given wilderness and those dead goblins over there, wouldn't it be nice to have someone who can chuck fire at problems?

Shadowheart: I can chuck fire at problems!

Gale: Two words: Magic. Missile.

Shadowheart: Oh, fine. I suppose it's better than just the two of us at any rate.

A little ways up the road, where a remarkably pale elf is rooting around in the bushes

Astarion: I have one of those brain-things cornered!

Alisaie: And you bothered to do that without a weapon?!?

Astarion: Oh, I have one. *jumps Alisaie*

Gale: I. Will. Set. You. On. FIRE.

Astarion: And you'd barbecue your little girlfriend right along with me--

Alisaie: *headbutts Astarion*

Astarion: OW! *lets go*

Alisaie: One - I am not anybody's 'little girlfriend'. Two - you drew a knife on me but didn't stab me; why? Is this your plane's way of saying hello?

Astarion: I saw you on the ship; what did you do to me?

Alisaie: Put the knife down and I will explain.

Astarion: I am not stupid.

Alisaie: Fine. Then stand there like an idiot clutching a knife like it's your dick and wait like three seconds.

Astarion: Excuse you; I--

Mind-Sharing Thing: *happens*

Astarion: Ah. I assume that was the answer to "why exactly should I wait". Right. Apologies.

Alisaie: *turns to Shadowheart* See why I didn't want to shake you awake before? I know I'd probably freak out if I woke up after that whole mess with someone in my face.

Shadowheart: ...You're inviting this one along too, aren't you.

Gale: What happened to, "and aren't trying to kill us"?

Alisaie: If he'd been trying to kill us, I'd at least be bleeding right now. Also, again, dead goblins. A straight-up non-magical combatant would do us good. Unless you want to wait and have us drag Lae'zel along...

Shadowheart: ...I suppose he's better than that, anyway. Fine.

Astarion: ...Thanks for the vote of confidence.

And, a little further into the wilderness

Lae'zel: *psychically shrieking anger*

Alisaie: ... *quietly singing* Despite all her rage, she is still just a gith in a cage...

Shadowheart: *snrk*

Alisaie: Thank you; I'll be here all week. Welp. If we let her out of there, she's going to want the tieflings dead for doing that to her. I don't want to just go around killing random tieflings. Just ... if you can't follow my lead, hang back.

Gale: What exactly are you--?

Alisaie: *apparently legitimate panic* Run! Run for your lives! The invasion force is here! They've come for their scout and your smallclothes and your cheese wheels! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIVES!

Shadowheart; Gale; Astarion: *staaaaaare*

Tieflings: ...Fuck a bunch of this. *leave in a relative hurry*

Gale: ...smallclothes?

Astarion: ......cheese wheels?!?

Alisaie: Say it fast enough, and with enough conviction, you could just be shouting random gnomish swear words and they'd get the idea. *lets Lae'zel down*

Lae'zel: It's about time! Now, from what I've seen, there's a creche nearby; they will have a cure!

Alisaie: Calm your tits, Lae'zel. We keep tripping over people with these tadpole things and while I know that killing anything illithid-related is your reason for living, we're not leaving illithids in-potentia wandering around the general population! We're also going to explore other avenues for a cure because frankly, I know what your culture's like and while they might expend resources on curing one of their own, the best cure we could hope for is a quick death. And I know you're not going to like this, so go back to where we've set up camp and ... recover, practice sword forms, practice all the swear words you're going to want to use on me.

Lae'zel: ...Don't keep me waiting. *leaves*

Alisaie; Shadowheart; Gale; Astarion: ..................................

Alisaie: ...So! Who's up for exploring those ruins over there; maybe find something we can use or at least trade for supplies?

Gale: What happened to "don't keep her waiting"?

Alisaie: Lady needs to learn she's not the centre of the universe, and that we're not her foot soldiers. Frankly, she can get fucked.

Astarion: I'd say "not really, since we're leaving her on her own", but I'm assuming she's got some imagination.

Alisaie: Thaaaaaat's the spirit! Let's go, Team Dangerous Company!

Gale: For all you've been through, you're ... remarkably cheerful.

Alisaie: Eh, inwardly I'm freaking out. But I'm a bard. My life is guided by whatever god or goddess is set over epic narrative so if I just ... be me at it, as hard as I can, it'll be okay. Let's go.

[iron-bullogna]

they never expected to have children. definitely not right away. maybe not ever. but yenna fell into their laps.

they never expected to let her stay in camp either. he was kind to her on the road and had given her food so he wasn't entirely surprised when she turned up. once she was there, there was no way jaheira or halsin would allow you to turn away a child, even had he wanted to.

and after all arabella hadn't been a nuisance. she stayed as long as she needed and then she went on her way. he imagined this would go much the same.

except it didn't. the world didn't end. he didn't die.

it didn't take long, even in the chaotic aftermath, for them to realize something needed to be decided about yenna. wyll, karlach, and lae'zel were obviously out of the question as caregivers. shadowheart had her own life too lead and one far too dangerous to be accompanied by a child. astarion had his hands full with juggling vampire spawn in the underdark and figuring out his own life now that he had his freedom. and himself and gale hardly seemed suited.

halsin or jaheira seemed the most logical choices. after all, halsin was taking kids in by the wagon full.

when they presented her with the idea, she hugged grub to her chest, the poor cat dangling in her arms and cried.

to their surprise, she didn't want to go with them. she didn't want to share halsin's attention. and even durge could understand jaheira wouldn't have time for her and she would end up cared for by one of her other children. but the fact she wanted to live with himself and gale was a shock. he couldn't fathom why.

but she had grown attached to gale. he may have said he didn't see himself being ready to be a father, but he was good at it. or perhaps he was just a good teacher. many a night she had stood at his side watching and helping as he prepared dinner with a mix of practical application and wizardry.

-------------------

idk what I was writing here, just noodling around. anyhow, they end up with yenna and just aren't very good dad's at first.

they spend a time helping rebuilding efforts in baldur's gate before traveling back to waterdeep. it's already difficult for them to settle into their new "normal" without a child in the mix.

"do you know where your child is right now?" advertisement except nah, they don't actually.

i personally view gale as very much a "those rules don't make sense to me therefore they don't apply to me" autistic that wouldn't be as worried about his kid getting into trouble, as long as the reasons why also made sense to him.

"oh you snuck into some place to read a very rare and forbidden book and got caught doing it? ....yes but did you get to read it before they caught you? you should have planned better if not, cause now it'll be harder next time. let me see if there is any loopholes..." ah dad

it takes them a few years before they actually fall into any sort of routine beyond gale having enrolled her in some sort of schooling (I haven't thought too far ahead on what she would really be doing). tara definitely has had to get on gale's case about remembering to eat but now it's remembering to eat because they need to feed their damn child.

she doesn't call them her dads for quite a while, but when she does, it's gale she calls dad first.

i think had they waited and had children on their own when they were ready, things would have been very different. though, I don't see them ever having had children if they had done so. it's the only situation for my durge where they end up with kids lol

yes I headcanon my durge and gale adopt yenna

no they're not good dads